Parent Orientation Meeting

All coaches are encouraged to establish effective lines of communication with team parents early in the season by holding a parent orientation meeting. This may take the form of a casual discussion in your living room, at your first practice, or could be combined with a team picnic. Whatever the format, the time you invest will pay benefits for all concerned throughout the season. If a meeting is impossible, the following information could be put into a letter to parents/players, but a face to face meeting is preferable.  It is also recommended that you have a handout highlighting the items of you parents meeting, if this is the method you choose.

Purposes of a parent orientation meeting include the following:

  • Enables parents to understand the objectives and goals of the program.
  • Enables parents to become acquainted with you, the coach and your philosophies.
  • Informs parents about the nature (and inherent risks) of the sport.
  • Informs parents of your expectations of them and of their child.
  • Enables you to address any concerns of the parents.
  • Establishes clear lines of communication between you, parents, and players.
  • Allows you to obtain parental support (assistant coaches, team parents, etc.).

Things to consider when organizing a parent orientation meeting:

  • Hold it early in the season, preferably before the first team practice.
  • Having the players present is optional.
  • Prepare any handouts you would like to distribute, for example:
> team roster (with names of parents and players, telephone numbers)
> schedule of practices and games
> team goals/rules
> summary or outline of the meeting
  • Be prepared and be organized to conduct the meeting efficiently.

Important points to cover in your meeting:

  • Coach introduction
> introduce yourself and assistant coaches (or ask for volunteers at this time)
> give some background information about yourself (why you are coaching,     
  experience).
  • Coaching philosophy
> discuss what you consider to be the value of this sport
> discuss your methods for teaching skills (describe a typical practice)
> state the importance you assign to having fun and developing skills
> state the importance you assign to winning and losing
> discuss any team rules and guidelines, disciplinary procedures
> discuss your philosophy regarding player rotation, substitution, playing time.
  • Specifics of the program
> practice schedule (how many per week?, how long?)
> game schedule (how many?, when do they begin?)
> minimum playing time (what is the rule in your local club?)
> equipment required (e.g. shirts, socks, shorts, shin guards)
> or recommended (e.g. ball, soccer shoes, water bottle)
> inherent risks (soccer is a contact sport, albeit a relatively safe one)
> medical insurance (SAY insurance provides secondary coverage).
  • Team management
> ask for volunteers as assistant coaches (Remember SAY’s “Two Times Polcy”)
> ask for volunteers as team parents (snack schedule, help with flags)
> set up telephone tree.

Discuss COACH’S responsibilities, for example:

  • to demonstrate leadership and good sportsmanship
  • treat each player fairly
  • have organized practices and teach soccer fundamentals appropriate to the age group
  • provide a safe environment (e.g. arrive at practice on time and remain after practice until every child is picked up by an authorized adult, ensure that the players’ equipment conforms to the guidelines)
  • contribute positively to the development of each player’s self-esteem
  • help each player set individual and team goals that are realistic
  • give parents a schedule of practices and games in a timely fashion
  • allow each player to play half of every game at a minimum (they cannot learn unless they play)
  • respect the referees, know the rules, and conduct yourself in a controlled manner on the field (the coach should set the example for players and parents).

Discuss PLAYER’S responsibilities, for example:

  • attend practices and games regularly, and to arrive on time
  • bring proper equipment to each practice and game
  • inform the coach in advance if it is necessary to miss a practice or game
  • make each practice a challenge to improve and work hard
  • work toward good sportsmanship and teamwork
  • respect the referees
  • be supportive of all teammates all of the time.

Discuss PARENTS’ responsibilities, for example:

  • transport your child to and from practices and games on time
  • be supportive of all the players (criticism does not improve performance)
  • help your child understand that he/she is contributing to a team effort
  • focus on mastering skills and having fun, not on winning
  • avoid material rewards for your child (the reward is the fun of playing!)
  • attend games and cheer for the team
  • refrain from criticizing opponents and be positive with all the players
  • respect the referees (they will make mistakes, but they are doing their best; if you feel you are better qualified, see the Director of Officiating - he or she could easily find work for you!)
  • refrain from coaching your child during games (try to understand and respect the difference between the roles of the coach and the parent)

Answer any questions from the parents.

Suggestions for Dealing with Parents

Coaching is exciting and rewarding, but occasionally you may experience difficulty with parents.  Some parents may want their child to play more and others may question your judgment as a coach.  Whatever the concern, a parent is generally just looking out for their child, often at your expense.  Don’t be discouraged. There are some things you can do to open up communication and make dealing with parents a positive aspect of your coaching duties.

  • Have a parent meeting before the first practice to discuss your plans and expectations for the season. See the section: “Parent Orientation Meeting” for tips on how to do this well.  Encourage questions from the parents and let them know that you have given a lot of thought to the upcoming season.
  • Express appreciation for their interest and concern. This will make them more open and at ease with you.
  • Always listen to their ideas and feelings. Remember, they are interested and concerned because it is their children that are involved. Encourage parental involvement. (If you have a preference for a certain time to voice these concerns, such as after practice, make this clear at the Parent Orientation Meeting.)
  • Know what your objectives are and do what you believe to be of value to the team, not to the parents. No coach can please everyone!
  • Know the SAY Rules and Laws Of The Game. Be prepared to abide by them and to explain them to parents.
  • Handle any confrontation one-on-one and not in a crowd situation.  Try not to be defensive. Let the parent talk while you listen.   Often a parent will vent their frustrations just by talking. Listen to their viewpoint, then thank them for it.
  • Resist unfair pressure. It is your responsibility as coach to make the final decision. This doesn’t mean that you can’t still listen to parents.
  • Don’t discuss individual players with other parents. The grapevine will hang you every time. Show the same respect for each player on the team that you want the parents to show toward you.
  • Ask the parents not to criticize their children during practice or a game. Don’t let your players be humiliated, even by their own parents.
  • Don’t blame the players for their parents’ actions.
  • Be consistent! If you change a rule or philosophy during the season, you may be in for trouble. At the very least, inform players and parents of any change as soon as possible.
  • Most importantly, be fair! If you treat all players equally and with respect, you will gain their respect and that of their parents as well.

Remember that you will be dealing with all types of children, and with parents having different backgrounds and ideals. The challenge for you as a coach is to address these differences in a positive manner so the season will be enjoyable for everyone involved.